Refreshed

I have the good fortune to know one of the greatest people in the world. He's my best friend and has been through a crazy year much like myself. In fact, our lives mirror each others in unexpected ways. He's my brother from another mother and what he's meant to me this last year is beyond words. I just came back from DC visiting him. He's met a great guy and they are raising a young son together. I loved that idea. A little family. One thing a trip does sometimes is put things in perspective and boy did I have an epiphany. I've been on the hook with my crush long enough. So I've been putting my energy into something that was developing even before my crush. It started as something friendly, but since me and the crush got caught in this friend zone it's been developing into something more. All this was put into perspective when I put some distance between me and the situation. I realized that I deserve to put my own energy into the situations that made me happy. If I'm unhappy in a situation, I should change it. Last night I had a similar discussion with a friend. He's unhappy with a situation but wanting to work through it. In my head I thought, "I'm not this passionate about my current situation of unhappiness..." and it dawned on me that I'd already let go. Maybe it happened in DC, or even before that. Who knows. I needed a sign that something was still developing with my crush, and I wasn't given that. So here I am but I don't want to say I'm starting over. It doesn't feel like it.