Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Expectations of the future and reminders of the past are often my undoing. I can certainly go my entire life without them, but my expectations are my fuel, and my past is what defines me. I'm not even sure how many times I've said it, but I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to be and I really don't want to be. Perfection sounds horribly boring to me. My imperfections ALWAYS come back to haunt me though. I've never taken the easy route and my life rewards me with the toughest of consequences sometimes. My honesty scares people away, my dreams are often met with eye rolls, and people tend to give me those talks about what should be done with my life. Everybody seems to know better. Everyone seems to know exactly who I am without giving me any hints as to what that may be. Still, all the push back gives me the motivation that I need. I thrive off of the negative feedback. I love proving someone wrong, and I'm often pretty good at it. Sometimes I have to remind people to mind their own business. To not worry about me. I'm an extremely strong person. I don't do anything half way, so when I say something, I mean it.

Let's get down to business. Is a month long enough to get over an earth shattering revelation that the person you love doesn't love you back? The answer is simple, but not easily explained. The short answer is yes, when it should obviously be no. The long answer is that when you've known someone doesn't love you back, you are already grieving the loss. You are already broken up. So, I spent a very short amount of time being upset about it, because even if I wanted to do something about it, what could I do but suck it up, and move on? My blog will always be an exaggeration of my emotions. It's where I go to spill my rawest of emotions, often unedited. So take the emotion with a grain of salt, but never the words.

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