Life

The unexpected is the eternal mystery of life. We can prepare for every eventuality, and still live our lives in a total state of shock. Or, we can live our lives fast and search out adventure, and become bored to tears. The spectrum of life, the measurement of living isn't individually dictated by a higher being. It's being dictated in our decisions. I've always liked the idea of some omnipotent presence guiding my life, but I think the romantic idea of it all was rubbed away when life started throwing curve balls. When we let go, and stop trying to steer, things go wrong. That wasn't how I was supposed to live my life. That isn't even living. It isn't any surprise when I start driving my life, things start falling into place. People start showing up to care, because I started showing up for life. I felt like I was in an ocean, blind from the sun, and the waves were pushing me back, crashing against me. All I had to do was start swimming in a different direction. It felt like I was swimming for a boat in the distance, and I didn't have a clue that I had land to my back. Perspective is everything. If something doesn't work, change it, fix it, or ditch it. I kept trying to do one of those things, and forgot about the other two options. I'm glad for the change now and it's easier to continue to make these changes. The change of scenery, the change of pace, and most of all, the change of people. A few in particular have been too good to me to be true. I'm on my own little island with a few good people surrounding me, and I'm starting to realize that THIS is the time of my life and I am my own salvation. This is life, and not living halfway. Most of all, I deserve these good situations, people, and feelings. I'm dropping my barriers, I don't have room for them in my life. Just truths and honesty.