Resurface

I've taken up a pretty serious writing endeavor, and been immersing myself in it fully when I have extra time to kill. While I've had the time to play video games, or go out... both have been passed for writing or spending time with family. It's been good to just take some time for me. Not rely on my friends to carry me through this situation, or throw myself into some bad social experience that I would regret later on. I've always considered writing to be a source of relief. A pressure release. Absolutely no regrets in that decision either.

I mean, if you've been reading my blog, you know that I'm nowhere near ready to be in a social situation where I could be hit on, asked out, or even have to talk to new people. So it's easy for me to look at a situation, and flat out turn down an invite. Still, I know that going out and meeting some new people will be good for me eventually. But I've been too busy getting my work situation together, and trying to find an apartment. One down, one to go. I've also begun the process of getting back to school. Is this all too much for me right now? Probably, but what choice do I have? I'll be 27 in a month, and to find myself in a situation such as this... it's really put a few things in perspective for me. The first thing being the fact that I don't have a parent to step up and help me pay half of my tuition to get through school. I have always and will always be doing these things alone. I'm not complaining or wishing that things were different, but it would be easier. It will be easier to breath though. Much easier.

So here I am, starting over again in an old town. Relying on my family for what they can help me with. My motivation for my future has never been greater. I've never wanted to prove people wrong more than now. I'm beyond ready to tackle this, even if I've been left utterly fucked financially. I will be truly living, working, and educating myself... by myself.... all for the first time in my life.